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So, in Archie #600, Archie Andrews proposes to Veronica Lodge. Let me analyze the cover for you, if you don’t mind.

First, let’s take a look at Veronica. She’s her usual elegant and sophisticated self, totally bitchin’. I’d want to marry her too if she wasn’t fictional.

Archie doesn’t look like he’s as excited as Veronica, but he always looks empty and dumb. Almost Moose-like, even. Also, check out his right pinky. That’s a sign that he’s ready for the classy Lodge lifestyle.

The black dude is just happy for the couple. Plus, he sold a ring, which is nice.

Betty, in a creepy stalker-y way, is weeping outside the jewelry store. Poor girl. I always liked Veronica better than Betty because she’s a rich bitch who’s fun and totally hot, but Betty will always be the girl that I’d want to be my girlfriend. If she wasn’t fictional.

Finally, Jughead. I don’t know about you, but I think he’s a little too sad for someone with a just-engaged best friend. If you look closely, it’s as if he’s trying to reach out to his good ol’ buddy in a very melancholic and longing manner. That’s a little… strange. YOU KNOW WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT.