Chris Jericho vs. “Rowdy” Roddy Piper, Ricky “The Dragon” Steamboat and Jimmy “Superfly” Snuka: With Ric Flair in the Legends’ corner, you’d think the cards will be stacked against Jericho. But we have to remember that even though there are four of them, the Legends are geriatric shadows of their former selves. Then again, it’s not always about how good and fit you are in the WWE. Steamboat is being inducted into the Hall of Fame this year and it will be a damn shame if he’ll lose a match at Wrestlemania. Also, I have a feeling that Mickey Rourke will be involved in one way or another.

WINNERS: WWE Legends

25-Diva Battle Royal for title of “Miss Wrestlemania”: 25 WWE Divas, including the old ones, will battle it out to earn the title of the very first Miss Wrestlemania. Boobs galore, this one.

WINNER: My Penis

Money in the Bank Ladder Match: For the past couple of Wrestlemanias, I’ve been enjoying this “career shortening” match and I think all Wrestlemanias should start with men in tights throwing their bodies into steel ladders like it’s nothing. This year, the lineup of participants doesn’t really inspire confidence as far as my taste for high flying “HOLY SHIT!” stunts is concerned. I mean, come on. Christian, CM Punk, Shelton Benjamin, Kofi Kingston and MVP I can see jumping on and falling off ladders, but Kane, Mark Henry and Finlay? Not so much.

WINNER: Christian

Shawn Michaels vs. Undertaker: Some of my favorite Wrestlemania matches were HBK matches. The first ever ladder match, HBK vs. Angle and last year’s Flair Farewell match. I totally enjoyed all of them and I think this HBK-Taker showdown won’t be any different. I don’t really care who wins, but come on. Not even HBK can break The Streak.

WINNERS: Undertaker and wrestling fans everywhere

Unified Tag Team Championship Lumberjack Match: I can’t remember the last time the WWE Tag Team and World Tag Team titles were defended at Wrestlemania so this is something fresh to me. I’m not crazy about the lumberjack part of the match, though. I’m really on the fence on this one, but this is Wrestlemania 25, so I’m expecting a happy ending for the faces. In this case, I’m putting my money on Carlito and Primo. Sorry, Miz and Morrison.

WINNERS: Carlito and Primo

Matt Hardy vs. Jeff Hardy: Never been a huge fan of Jeff Hardy so I hope he gets his ass handed to him on platter with a barbed wire that is ON FIRE by his older brother.

WINNER: Matt Hardy

JBL vs. Rey Mysterio for the Intercontinental Championship: Meh.

WINNER: Mysterio. Whatever.

Edge vs. Big Show vs. John Cena for the World Heavyweight Championship: I have to admit, I got to follow this feud since it began and I am genuinely entertained. I don’t think it’s going to be a pretty match, though. A lumbering big man and Cena? Not even Edge can make this kinetic enough. I want Edge to win, but Cena has a new movie out. So, yeah.

WINNER: John Cena

Triple H vs. Randy Orton for the WWE Championship: OK, this is a hard one. I’m rooting for both of them, so at least I know I’ll enjoy the match. I also love the possibility that Legacy and the McMahons can get involved. I love ringside clusterfucks. Anyway, even though Orton beat Triple H last year in a triple threat match, I think it’s time for the apprentice to have a clean win over the master in a one-on-one match.

WINNER: Randy Orton