Say you’re a Badoon fighting one of Earth’s pesky superheroes in the woods, and let’s say that superhero is She-Hulk. Clearly, your first option is to throw a black bear at her. Clearly. Thing is, you’ve never thrown a black bear at a sexy Gamma-irradiated superhero before. Fear not, my intergalactic bounty hunter friend. Here are four easy to steps to help you successfully throw a black bear at She-Hulk:

Step 1: Pick an awesome black bear. If it growls for no apparent reason, you’re on the right track.

Step 2: Let it think it’s safe, you know, from being grabbed and thrown at a muscular green chick.

Step 3: Take it by surprise and grab that summbitch!

Step 4: Throw.

Easy, right? There’s really nothing to it. Of course, there’s the slight chance that She-Hulk might catch the poor freaked out thing.

In that case, you pretty much know what will happen next.

Remember, all it takes is practice, practice, practice. Pretty soon, you’ll be able to throw a black bear at She-Hulk without incident. You just need to believe in yourself and you’ll be throwing black bears like a pro in no time.

If you need more lessons in throwing stuff at your enemies, feel free to consult Bahlactus!

*** Bear-throwing images from Marvel’s She-Hulk #26.

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