Vampire Animal Invasion!
I knew it was coming. For years, I’ve been warning local scientists and politicians, but they never listen. Now, it’s too late. The invasion of vampire animals is commencing! BEHOLD! From CNN.com, VAMPIRE PEACOCK!
NEW YORK (AP) - A peacock that roamed into the parking lot of a Burger King in New York City was beaten by a man who insisted it was a vampire.
A restaurant worker says the man grabbed the bird by the neck, hurled it to the ground and started stomping it. She says when he was asked what he was doing, he responded, “I’m killing a vampire!”
Authorities think it’s just a silly story about a crazy dude, but there’s more to this than they’re willing to admit. From MSNBC:
There’s more than speed racing going on on the set of Emile Hirsch and Christina Ricci’s upcoming film. A chimp bit an actor on the set of “Speed Racer” — and there are allegations that the chimp was beaten.
Is Chim-Chim a cute chimpanzee sidekick or a deadly creature of the night? YOU DECIDE!
The world’s governments can continue to deny the facts I’m laying down in front of them, but it’s their funeral. I, for one, welcome our new vampire overlords. ALL HAIL THE BLOODSUCKERS AND FLESH EATERS!!!
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